The following is the contribution of my dearest, very young friend as well as fellow citizen: Valentina. It’s a pleasure to host her in my blog, a blog where I talk about bullying and mobbing. Valentina’s words, so clear, so simple, so straightforward and really honest can be useful, so that many people can understand and reflect.
Thank you Valentina: you are an extraordinary person.
Stop it now. I am fed up: enough is enough. I cannot stand any more to read such news.
It was my first time. I had never met, so far, the young students from a high school to talk about bullying.
I told them about my experiences as a victim: I have not proposed solutions, I have not flaunted truths. I have no truths, no certainties. I just showed them my wounds, my weakness and shared mine with them. Because I do not feel like a saint, but the very opposite of that, and because I feel I have a lot to learn, especially from them. In practice I have asked those boys and girls to help me and understand, and perhaps to find, all together, some possible answers, though not definitive.
They paid attention to me. They listened to what I said. They were moved to tears, and even I was. But nothing was fake or prepared: we just were who we are, and that’s it.
This morning on TV I saw an old movie, THE SEA-WOLF, played by the great actor Edward G. Robinson. The film was nothing but the film version of a novel by Jack London: a story that reflects much of his adventurous life, mainly as a seaman.
In the film, as well as in the book, there is a bitter and terrible vision of life. On the ship, the captain (Wolf Larsen) exercises his power with arrogance, with extreme aggression: his way of managing the ship is characterized by his egocentrism, his not caring at all for the dignity of the people who depend on him. He just wants to humiliate, mortify, demean and he does this with unbelievable violence.
When you had a story of psychological and even physical harassment is always recommended, for the person who has been harassed, a course of emotional treatment with some experts. This was, therefore, my choice, as a victim of bullying and mobbing. I met a few people who paid attention to me: some of them, I believe, have also taken to heart my case. However, the attitude of a psychologist should always be objective, dispassionate, in some ways even detached: I certainly understand that this is normal. What I do not understand, in such cases- I mean in cases like mine – is a critical, judgmental, almost polemic approach against those who have suffered such violence. This is not to say that all psychologists are the same: far from it.
A fourteen year old boy, in Naples, has been the victim of a terrible abuse. The victim was in a car wash, to clean his own scooter. Three young men (twenty-four years old), who were there, began to tease the boy as “he was too fat”. One of the three executioners exclaimed: “We’re gonna blow you up, just like a ball!” Then they passed from words to deeds: one of them, Vincenzo Iacolare, took a compressed air gun, pulled down the teenager’s pants and blew air into the boy’s sphincter. This inconceivably violent gesture, this expression of inhuman ferocity, caused to the poor boy some serious intestinal injuries and the loss of much blood. After a very serious crisis, during which the health conditions of the boy seemed to be really worrying, the doctors of the Hospital, in Naples, informed that the patient has miraculously recovered.
THE BOY NOBODY WANTED
Graphic work by Francis Allenby